R.D. Liang's Theory of the Divided Self

Laing's Theory of the Divided Self is clearly at work in Gilman’s “The Yellow Wallpaper”. In Gilman’s narrative, we see the struggle one faces mentally. This struggle is between living according to society and living according to the identity one desires. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, the doctor’s wife is going through a nervous disorder that is claimed to be schizophrenia in her case. We find out that her name is Jane but she has escaped Jane, so she has escaped herself. We learn this from the line that says “in spite of you and Jane”. There is a set role that she is expected to obey in society in order to be considered “normal” but she experiences a split sense of self where there is one part of her that wants to be set free. In order to be free, you need to go crazy. Crazy is really just being different. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, the character has shed Jane, which is being healthy, normal, and sane, so she has also shed this cultural ideology. This is how she became “crazy”. In Laing’s Theory of the Divided Self, this is explained. When people are faced with this struggle of having an expected identity that is different from what they perceive of themselves, the “alternatives are to either give up the parental approval and caretaking they need to survive, in order to be truly themselves, or to give up their own sense of their identity and comply with parental demands”. In some people, their response is to lose their sanity and go “crazy”. But what is crazy? How do we categorize it and how do we consider people to be called crazy? It is just being different. It is going outside the circle of the expected norms of society and the set roles our families have installed in us. It is “breaking through the ceiling of the tunnel into what is considered insanity”, as Laing says. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, she has broken through that ceiling. Her expected role was that of a wife and mother. But what she wants to do is to write and think freely. She says that she “feels nervous” around her baby. It may not be that she is actually feeling nervous but this may mean that she does not feel as if this person society wants her to become is who she truly is. She does not see herself being what a mother should be to her baby.
Liang also mentions an important factor in his “Theory of the Divided Self”. This factor is family resistance. It is very apparent how much control and influence this has on each and every single person and it is clearly seen in “The Yellow Wallpaper”. Liang says "there is concerted family resistance to discovering what is going on, and there are complicated strategems to keep everyone in the dark." Sometimes, we want to believe in something so much that we begin to ignore the problems that may arise. Parents want their children to be the best that they can be and they plan out their lives for them. They are sometimes blinded to the truth of what their child may be in life or the path they choose. In “The Yellow Wallpaper”, John, the husband, refuses to acknowledge his wife’s opinions and thoughts about certain issues. He tells her he doesn’t want her “giving in to such fancies” and continues to live on forcing her to believe she has a mental condition that can only be treated if she does what he tells her. He really does not know how much his wife wants to write and how many emotional battles she faces every day. But I feel that he does know but he just is too afraid to admit there may be a deeper problem due to what society will make of it.
This is exactly what happens day after day. We are all encouraged to express ourselves and be who we are and all that sweet talk. But really, it’s a bunch of meaningless words that people say to get the day going. No matter what anyone says, we are all enslaved to the tunnel of sanity that our society has built. If we do break through that ceiling, we are considered crazy and insane. It is a sad concept to realize but it is the truth.

The Yellow Wallpaper & Story of an Hour

YELLOW WALLPAPER

I had to read this twice just to make sure I understood it better. But one can tell from the beginning that John, her husband, has such a strong hold on her. She tells us from the start that John, as well as her brother, is a well-known physician and we can assume that she doesn’t have such a high degree. Actually, considering the time this story is written, she probably hasn’t finished school. So it’s clear to see that John uses the fact that he is an all-knowing physician as an excuse to tell her what to do. He basically controls her and dismisses any questions or worries she tells him. John says that it is unwise to “give away to such fancies” when she voiced her opinions about the wallpaper. We already know that she is mentally unstable but he seems to force his thoughts on what she and should not do or who she can or cannot see. So in this case, we see two different ways of how the husband can overpower the wife. The first way is by having a higher degree which is used to John’s advantage in this story. The second way is to have the upper hand by using her mental state as an excuse to run things his way.
I think the last paragraph is the most important one to the overall argument that the story is making. It’s their last day at the house and John is away at work. The wife finally decides to rip away all of the disgusting yellow wallpaper. She locks the door and starts to tear away the paper. When John comes back and finally unlocks the door, he is shocked at what he sees. The wife tells him she is out at last and that he won’t be able to put her back into the paper since she had pulled most of it out. He faints. Of course, it’s pretty obvious to see how trapped she felt being in this marriage. In reality, she is not physically behind the bars of that horrible yellow wallpaper. But in this marriage, she is not free and her husband has the control. He decides who she’s able to see and says that he is looking out for her best interests. She is actually obedient and agrees that he loves her very much and cares about her health. There is a difference between protecting someone you love and trapping them in an isolated location away from the rest of the world.


STORY OF AN HOUR

In this story, Mrs. Louise Mallard is told that her husband was killed in a railroad disaster. Her sister, Josephine tries to break the news to her gently as possible because she knows of her heart problems. Louise of course breaks down and weeps and then goes upstairs to her bedroom, where she sinks in an armchair overlooking the window. As she sits there, she begins to feel something coming over her. She starts to whisper “free, free, free!” Her pulse beat wildly and “she did not stop to ask if it were or were not a monstrous joy that held her.” Mrs. Mallard realizes that she does not have to live for anybody from now on, but she will only have herself to live for. There will not be an overpowering control over her like she was used to in the years of her marriage. She admits that she loved him but now that her husband is dead, she is free “body and soul”. She sees days of herself running in the spring and winter. Josephine then knocks on her door and Louise comes out to see her after reassuring her sister that she is okay. As they walk down the stairs, the front door opens and Brently Mallard, Louise’s husband walks in. Mrs. Mallard faints and when the doctors come, they said she had died of “heart disease – of the joy that kills.”
When Mrs. Mallard found out her husband died, she became happy because this meant freedom for her. There is a passage in the first half of the story that describes the surroundings outside, including the weather, the rain in the air, and the birds chirping. I think this passage is such a strong one in relation to the point of this story. This is a sign of spring and spring is usually a symbol of revival and a new beginning. This was going to be the case for Mrs. Mallard, until she walked down that staircase and saw that her husband is alive. That was the real tragedy, not that of his death. She died of a heart attack because she realized that the joy, freedom, power, and hope she felt only a little while ago were completely diminished. It was too good to be true. This is the joy that kills. After years in marriage, she got so close to being free. It’s too sad to see how short these feelings of joy and hope lasted. If only she waited to double check.

Family As An Institution of Power

The American cultural norm of family acts as an institution of power by being able to program certain views and perspectives into our heads from such a young age. We are taught specific lessons that stick in our minds and shape the way we act and decide on things as we get older. For example, we have always seen the father as the most important figure in a family. He sits at the head of the table, he brings in the money, and all the decisions are run down by him. This is not the case for every family, especially for the century we live in now but that has been the father figure for years. As we grow up, our family installs in us various ideologies of how men and women are expected to be. We are encouraged to think on our own and explore other cultures and views, but that really isn't always what happens. Each culture has its own set of expectations that they have of their future generations. We live according to what we learned from our parents, even though we may not agree with them, but those lessons have been imprinted in our heads for so long, that we know nothing else. This is how family acts as an institution of power that leads the way of how and why we do the things we do.

Signs

1. ED HARDY

- Now that I really looked at this Ed Hardy boot, I don’t see anything good about it. But a few years ago, everyone in my high school started wearing Ed Hardy. From shoes, to shirts, bags, and hats. Basically, we looked at the brand name before we looked at the product. Whether we liked it or not, it was Ed Hardy and that’s a popular brand name so the item was bound to get praises. All it takes is a person to wear it and then the masses will follow. This is how the American mass culture works. We live in a society that encourages us to think for ourselves and gives us freedom of speech and all that good stuff. But if we really did think on our own, this country wouldn’t function. For everything to run according to the way it should be, media has to play a huge role in our lives, especially when it comes to decision making and consumerism. When things are advertised, naturally we will go out and buy them. The Ed Hardy trend is an example of this. This is how our American culture works. We are not all born leaders. We are followers of what media and propaganda send our way.

2. POUTING GUY

- If anyone looked at this picture, they will definitely make fun of it. I don’t understand what is up with his hair, the orange headless cap, the pouting lips, and the peace sign. He also looks a bit too confident for such a pose. This sign displays what our expected views of gender are. Guys don’t take pictures like this one. If they do, their sexuality is automatically questioned and will receive negative comments. In the American culture, guys are expected to take “manly” pictures. Like the ones where you flex your biceps or stand in an arrogant, bigger-than-life pose. It sounds shallow and superficial, but honestly, this is what we expect. It’s okay for a girl to take this kind of picture but if a guy does, the feedback will be anything but positive. In our culture, we grow up having a specific idea of how the male should act. They are expected to be athletic, strong, tough, etc. As a society, we always say ‘express yourself’ but when we truly do, many times our expression will not be supported. As a culture, we want to maintain the balance and the circle that is built around us. We don’t want anything or anybody to step out of that safe circle with new perspectives and ideologies.

3. VISA/MASTERCARD

- We are all about money. No matter what everybody says, money is what makes the world go round. In almost every decision we make, money is involved. This sign just shows an easier way to get what we want and to access the greens. Credit cards have taught us that we can have anything we want, and all we have to do is worry about it later. We only live once so why not enjoy life to the fullest. And if there is one thing that is portrayed over and over again in our society, it’s that materialistic things bring us happiness. Of course, we are taught the complete opposite of that from our families, those feel-good movies, and from school. They tell us that money doesn’t bring happiness and I do agree with that. But yet again, as we get older and start to think about our career choices, the salary is a major factor in our decision. When we go out and buy something, whatever it is, its price plays a huge role is whether or not we will buy this item. In the American culture, we are encouraged to think wisely, especially when it comes to money. But at the same time, if everyone thought sensibly when it comes to spending money, we wouldn’t be the proud capitalist country we are today.

4. TRUCK

- This is an interesting picture. We all know how much guys love their trucks and this picture definitely portrays that connection. We also think a guy in a certain way when we see what type of car he drives. There is a huge difference between a guy driving a sedan and another driving a truck. Those who are in the big trucks blasting music are usually in your face and are too arrogant for their own good. With guys, it’s always a competition, especially when it comes to cars. Of course this is not completely true, but this is the stereotype in our culture today. This shows that we do judge a book by its cover. When seeing one of these trucks pass by the road, we automatically place the driver in a certain category. We’ll probably think that he’s a jerk in old ripped jeans with a faded t-shirt and work boots. I definitely wouldn’t expect to find a businessman in a suit come out of that truck in this picture. We don’t know this for sure but this is how our culture works. We categorize people by what they wear, do, drive, and everything else, even before we get a chance to know them.

Carver's Gin and Love

In the "Beginners", the two couples are sitting around talking about love while drinking gin. So Carver shows that when people are going to gather and converse about love, they need alcohol to get through it. Gin in this case, seems to be some sort of escape. It makes it easier to talk about love and the problems that come along with it. For Terri, it won't be that easy to speak about her past abusive relationship if she were completely sober. Alcohol just makes everything easier to deal with. It is very obvious to see that Herb hates his ex-wife, and he's upset that his first marriage didn't work out. As a succesful cardiologist, he can't be hindered by his emotional problems. So he definitely needed the alcohol to talk about his issues.
Besides the obvious, the gin represented the pain and troubles of love itself. When you wasted, you deny that you're drunk. This is exactly what happened in Terri's situation. She was so deep into the abusive relationship that she still defends Carl and his behavior.

Raymond Carver, "Beginners" and "Why Don't You Dance?"

In Raymond Carver’s two stories, “Beginners” and “Why Don’t You Dance?”, the subject is love. In “Beginners”, there are 4 people, 2 couples, who are having drinks together and the topic of love comes up. They all talk about how they got to be where they are now and their past relationships. Herb McGinnis, a cardiologist, thought that real love was that of the spiritual love. His wife, Terri, starts to tell of how she was in an abusive relationship. The other couple seemed to be the one that had the normal relationship. In “Why Don’t You Dance?” a man is having a garage sale and has the furniture set in the same way as it was inside the house. A young couple comes along and starts to look around, finally settling on buying the TV and the bed. The couple and the man all get drunk and then dance to a record player in the yard. The girl tries to tell everyone about what happened but for some reason, she wasn’t able to talk about it. So in both Carver’s stories, the subject definitely has a connection to love and the relationships we encounter in our lives.
Even though I have a hard time wrapping my head around this, I think the aspect of collective cultural ideology that Carver is examining is the role of relationships in our lives and what is expected of us. There are certain milestones that we all “should” reach by a certain age. Those milestones include: finishing education, leaving home, getting a job and become financially stable, getting married, and having kids. Of course, this is what shapes the American Dream. We all are also expected to be happy forever after if we do this right. But in these two stories, this is not the case. In “Beginners”, these are not the relationships that we think about having in our future. Herb has already had a failed marriage and he thinks about how he had managed to love his ex-wife one day but now hates her completely. Terri, his current wife, was in a terrible situation before meeting Herb. She had lived with a man, Carl, who beat her up constantly and threatened to kill her as well as Herb. His reason for his actions was because he loved Terri very much. This is not the type of love that we see advertised in movies and romance novels but even Terri herself confirms that he loved her. As a society, we do not approve of abusive relationships and that would turn into a scandal. But in this case, Terri openly talks about it and actually admits that sometimes she thinks about him. She argues with Herb that Carl loved her very much but in his own way. While I was reading this, I felt terrible for Terri and sorry for Herb. At the end of the story, Terri breaks down and tells the other couple that Herb has been suicidal recently. There’s a lot that could be said regarding this issue. Herb is what many of us wish to be when we are at his age. He is a successful cardiologist, and of course he is making tons of money. So he has already reached all those milestones that are expected of him. But he is not happy, his relationship with his ex-wife is draining him, and he misses his kids. This proves that even if we play our expected roles in society correctly, it does not mean that we will be happy.
In “Why Don’t You Dance?” the man is selling the furniture that used to belong to him and another woman. We don’t know what happened to their relationship, whether he was married or not, or where the woman is now. A significant part in this story is when the man and the young girl have a dance together. As they get close together, the young girl tells him that there are people watching them. The man tells her that it’s okay since this is his yard. As they dance, they become aware of each other and something definitely passes between them. The man says, “I hope you like your bed” and as the young girl pulls him closer and buries her head in his shoulder, she replies, “You must be desperate or something”. A couple of weeks later, the young girl cannot explain what happened back there at the yard sale but still tries to describe the situation to her friends. I really didn’t understand the point in this story but I know it has something to do with what happened between the man and the young girl. In the society we live in today, we sometimes do see an old man with a girl who is younger than him by way more than a few years. To be honest, we will question such a relationship more than we would wonder about a couple who seem to be in the same social circle.
I think the point of these two stories is that Carver wants to prove that not everyone is able to live their lives according to what society expects from them. We are not able to control who we fall in love with or who we come across in our lives. Carver showed that even we go according to our roles, we can still be unhappy, such as in Herb’s situation. He achieved all the milestones, so one would think he would be “stable”, but in reality, he’s not. The young girl in the second story is supposed to be in love with her boyfriend, and she is, but something did pass between her and the older man. Society would probably disapprove, but Carver showed that this is something we cannot control.

SPRING SEMESTER

Final Entry - Self Evaluation

Even though this class was not something I stressed over like some other people did, I still had some troubles, especially with the descriptive papers. But I think I’m better at giving the details now than I was when we first started writing those papers. I think a bit of a challenge is better than to lose sleep over this English class like some of my friends are. I’m so glad I was not put in those other classes.. So I know my writing is not perfect and there are many others who write much better than I do and that's why I'm glad that effort counts. I did put in a lot of thinking into my papers and I made sure to finish on time. I think I deserve an A for the effort or maybe an A- because I have looked at other people's writing and found that there's a lot of talent. I think my imagination runs faster than I can write and that's why I don't write as well as I think I should. Sometimes it’s hard to put all my thoughts down on paper when I have so many of them running through my head. Comparing my pieces in the early semester with the later ones prove to me that I have improved. At the end of every English semester in high school, I would go through all my papers and creative pieces in the order they were written and see how my writing has changed, even if by slightly. So all that matters to me is to have some kind of personal proof that that my writing has improved.
My blog design is not that exciting but I like simplicity. I'm not a creative person so this is the most you guys will be getting out of me.
=)

Analysis Essay

When I hit the teenage years, the rebellion act soon began to emerge. It started when I was around 12 or 13 years old and lasted for 2 to 3 years. Every young teenager who goes through this time knows how bad of a roller coaster our feelings seemed to be. When emotions hit, they hit deeply and it was easy to lose control of what we said and did. It was a horrible time, and I’m glad it’s over.
During these years, I became so involved in writing and that was all I did; besides, of course, listening to music constantly. Every time I got angry or upset, I would write. Even if it was just a line, it would be an emotional one. These types of entries weren’t journal entries. I was never able to put down everything in a direct manner on paper. I guess you can call them poetry or even songs. Everyone who was connected to me, in a good or bad way, appeared in my notebook. Names were not written out but if I read them now, I’d know who I was talking about. All this writing was done in a black and white composition notebook, the type that everyone uses for classes once in a while. Even though this went on for more than two years, there was only one book. All my “drafting” went into a long yellow Legal pad, the one with the blue lines and the double red margin lines on the right-hand side. Its cardboard back was one of the reasons that I loved writing in it for; I can just rest it on my lap and write. That notepad was in such a poor condition after I went through it. Its edges were curved in and the cardboard back was covered in scribbles from my doodling so you could not see the brownish, yellow material anymore. The black and white Composition notebook was only for the finished pieces - the ones I felt were worthy enough to be read over again. If you can see my class notes, you’ll see a lot of scribbles and crossing out. But not in the Composition notebook. That was the place where I copied the “good stuff” over again, and made sure it was kept clean and without any blemish.
I no longer have that notebook or the Legal pad. I ripped up the pages and threw them out three years ago. The teenage years are a time of experimentation and mistakes, some of them you will want to remember and some of them you will not wait to forget. My writing during that time is something I want to forget so I threw out the evidence in case I would come across it years later. I stopped writing and I forgot my talent. I made a point of not writing that now I have difficulties with English assignments, especially the creative free-writing type of ones. For me, a good piece of writing is personal and you’ll have to slam your emotions on paper. It is like taking a part of yourself and pasting on a blank canvas. That was how I used to write. But I don’t like writing personally anymore and my use of details has gone awry.
As human beings, we like to erase certain things and events from our memories. Maybe we did something stupid as kids or a sad event happened and we don’t want to remember them anymore. So many of us will try and rid ourselves of certain things that will trigger these memories. Of course, we all make mistakes and none of us are perfect – we’ve heard this tons of times before. The experiences that affect us the most are sometimes the ones we want to forget. We may be accused of being cowards and we’ll probably deny that accusation. It’s not that we like to run away from our past, but we think why dwell on something that you no longer can control? I think it’s safe to say that each one of us has at least one memory that we don’t like to bring up. But we learn to live with it and to accept it because we would not be the same person we are today if it weren’t for that specific experience.

Monday, November 22, 2010: Media Free Reaction

I am actually feeling a bit jittery – I wasn’t able to sit still in Stats this morning since I usually text in that class. Or sleep. My fingers got so used to texting and typing so it feels weird to go 3 days without my phone. I am anxious, every day I keep wondering who posted on my wall or tagged me, or sent me requests. You never know what those idiots are posting and commenting on so you have to keep track of what’s happening on your page. I freakin’ hate this experiment, and I’m never doing it again. I don’t even know why the heck I was thinking of doing the 7 days. I’m getting annoyed and frustrated. Now I actually have to look to find something to do and that’s not always easy sometimes. We already know we’re addicted – I’m sure we all found that out from the first day – so why do we have to continue?!