Analysis Essay

When I hit the teenage years, the rebellion act soon began to emerge. It started when I was around 12 or 13 years old and lasted for 2 to 3 years. Every young teenager who goes through this time knows how bad of a roller coaster our feelings seemed to be. When emotions hit, they hit deeply and it was easy to lose control of what we said and did. It was a horrible time, and I’m glad it’s over.
During these years, I became so involved in writing and that was all I did; besides, of course, listening to music constantly. Every time I got angry or upset, I would write. Even if it was just a line, it would be an emotional one. These types of entries weren’t journal entries. I was never able to put down everything in a direct manner on paper. I guess you can call them poetry or even songs. Everyone who was connected to me, in a good or bad way, appeared in my notebook. Names were not written out but if I read them now, I’d know who I was talking about. All this writing was done in a black and white composition notebook, the type that everyone uses for classes once in a while. Even though this went on for more than two years, there was only one book. All my “drafting” went into a long yellow Legal pad, the one with the blue lines and the double red margin lines on the right-hand side. Its cardboard back was one of the reasons that I loved writing in it for; I can just rest it on my lap and write. That notepad was in such a poor condition after I went through it. Its edges were curved in and the cardboard back was covered in scribbles from my doodling so you could not see the brownish, yellow material anymore. The black and white Composition notebook was only for the finished pieces - the ones I felt were worthy enough to be read over again. If you can see my class notes, you’ll see a lot of scribbles and crossing out. But not in the Composition notebook. That was the place where I copied the “good stuff” over again, and made sure it was kept clean and without any blemish.
I no longer have that notebook or the Legal pad. I ripped up the pages and threw them out three years ago. The teenage years are a time of experimentation and mistakes, some of them you will want to remember and some of them you will not wait to forget. My writing during that time is something I want to forget so I threw out the evidence in case I would come across it years later. I stopped writing and I forgot my talent. I made a point of not writing that now I have difficulties with English assignments, especially the creative free-writing type of ones. For me, a good piece of writing is personal and you’ll have to slam your emotions on paper. It is like taking a part of yourself and pasting on a blank canvas. That was how I used to write. But I don’t like writing personally anymore and my use of details has gone awry.
As human beings, we like to erase certain things and events from our memories. Maybe we did something stupid as kids or a sad event happened and we don’t want to remember them anymore. So many of us will try and rid ourselves of certain things that will trigger these memories. Of course, we all make mistakes and none of us are perfect – we’ve heard this tons of times before. The experiences that affect us the most are sometimes the ones we want to forget. We may be accused of being cowards and we’ll probably deny that accusation. It’s not that we like to run away from our past, but we think why dwell on something that you no longer can control? I think it’s safe to say that each one of us has at least one memory that we don’t like to bring up. But we learn to live with it and to accept it because we would not be the same person we are today if it weren’t for that specific experience.